‎”Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.” -Sarah Ban Breathnach.
I’m realizing that it’s really the little things that count… take for instance my one-on-one time with Tristan this past weekend. Grandma came to stay with us for the weekend so I took the opportunity to take my two boys out for their own one-on-one time with Mom. Tristan and I went to the laundromat and while we were waiting for the clothes to dry, we went behind the building and took some photos. [Side note: Please tell me I'm not the only one who conveniently keeps a bag of clothes in the car in case we come upon a great location LOL!] Afterwards, we went to the book store and browsed around for a while. My point is this…. the time that we spent quietly going about our business was precious. We played 20 questions and we had a chance to reconnect, just Tristan and I. I highly recommend giving it a try with your own kids. Happy Leap Day to you… I hope you find joy in whatever you are doing today.

My oh my has it been hard for me to stay on top of my blog… I’m sure some of you readers out there know this but many of you may not. 2011 was a tough year for me personally and it has been extremely difficult to give the right kind of attention to my beloved photography business. After 9 years of marriage, two beautiful children and lots of ups and downs, my husband and I have decided to call it quits. I’m from the school of “gaman shinasai” which is Japanese for “preservere” or “don’t give up”. I heard this all my life from my Mom: “Toki, gaman shinasai!” which pretty much meant don’t complain, don’t cause trouble, don’t whatever it was and me saying, “buuut Moooooommmm!!!” (whine, whine as kids and teenagers do LOL).

However, enough is enough and I finally found the courage to make a change that needed to be made for a long time. Most of last year was spent making changes to my address, the boys’ school, establishing ourselves in our new community and it kept me very, very busy. Then the holidays rolled around and I was stunned. Shocked by all of the changes that happened so quickly and feeling heartbroken for what was happening, ridden with guilt for the sorrow that my boys were feeling about the divorce.

But the human spirit is amazing… and having loving friends and family around is priceless! Somehow, I am healing from the hurts and learning from my mistakes and desiring to move onward. Some days are better than others but I’m taking it day by day. In the midst of all of this, my babies have been my primary focus and everything else has taken a backseat. I am so happy to see them doing well in school and making new friends. We stay busy with activities and playdates, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy. They are sweet, loving, smart, spirited kids and we’ve managed to quietly adjust to all of the changes. No doubt there will be plenty of difficult moments ahead but I know that we will be okay in the long run. I’m doing best to get myself situated in my personal life but having a hard time balancing my business life… I’ll be honest in saying that I’ve been disappointed with my lack of drive and enthusiasm for my love of photography. But I have faith and trust that my passion will return so stick with me people!!!!

By the way, my Mom now says to me, “Toki, life is too short to ‘gaman’… I now realize that you need to do whatever it takes to be happy, healthy and productive!” I love hearing my 72 year old Mom saying that to me now. Pretty cool!

My sweethearts turned 8 on January 29th and I wanted to do a little session to commemorate their birthday. So we found this awesome spot down an alley in Hollywood and had a fun little photo shoot. They are growing up so darn fast!! I love them SO much and they inspire me to do my best every day. I am so very blessed with all of the love that I receive from my children, my family, my friends… I love you all!